This option is just this album by itself and comes in a cardboard, gloss coated sleeve.
I. Rape Yourself [10:35]
II. Ego Death [16:51]
III. The Burning Abyss [3:37]
IV. Helen Keller [8:37]
V. Nothingsong (Worship The Void) [15:09]
-total running time-
54:51
Includes unlimited streaming of L'éveil Par La Mort
via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
ships out within 7 days
edition of 94
Purchasable with gift card
$6.26USDor more
Very rare and limited to 6, this option will come in a small, cardboard box with personalized artwork by Xavier "Abysmal" and will contain both L'éveil Par La Mort, and the d.i.y. live album, None Of Our Lives Matter, And We Are All Going To Die, which had become the foundation on which this album was made; in addition, this sordid alchemist's box will contain a secret bonus item that assisted just as intregally in shaping the music on the studio debut.
Includes unlimited streaming of L'éveil Par La Mort
via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
ships out within 90 days
edition of 6
2 remaining
Purchasable with gift card
$10.21USDor more
Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album
Comes in original paper packaging and art proof #2, with artwork and coffee stains by Xavier "Abysmal".
Includes unlimited streaming of L'éveil Par La Mort
via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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Music by Xavier "Abysmal" & Robert Alonzo
Lyrics by Xavier "Abysmal"
lyrics
[Part I: The Quest For Freedom]
A canyon lay ahead.
Everything was made of living flesh.
Everything was made of
Living flesh.
Every object has a voice;
Every object has a personality.
Every object has a voice;
Every object has a personality.
I can feel my organs inside of me;
They're screaming -
They want to get out.
I feel like meat.
I feel like meat.
My body is a writhing mass,
Ashamed of stealing oxygen
Ashamed of asking or needing,
Ashamed of my own incarnation.
Detachment is a place of seeing clearly
But having my head in the clouds,
And compassion is earned through suffering
But having my head in the ground.
Either way I am ignorant.
Either way I am blind.
Either way the beast called Karma
Spins the crushing wheel of Time.
Either way I am ignorant.
Either way I am blind.
In each case I am ignoring
Either storm clouds or sunlight.
Listen to the earth.
Listen to the earth.
She's screaming.
I can feel the anger inside of me.
It, too, is screaming,
And it needs to get out,
For everything is death and sex.
Everything is made of
Living flesh.
[Part II: Catharsis]
And all I could feel was hatred.
All I could feel was hatred.
Every exertion was wrung with frailty,
Every fit of anger an act of futility,
Anger at a life
Of endless impossibilities.
You saw what you wanted to see,
But did not see me.
This turmoil could not be expressed,
Howling like a wind in a breaking glass,
"I am a living accident.
I am a fumbling mistake,"
Confusion pounding like a mallet on my skull,
A gobbet of deformed and beaten clay,
Self induced trauma strutting and boasting,
Loathingly and afraid.
Self blame strutting, boasting
Like a peacock with its feathers sprawled,
Me behind it with a chain around my neck,
Crawling like maggots crawl.
Melting, breaking, molten steal
Is every emotion I fail to feel,
And all I can feel is hatred.
All I can feel is
Confusion pounding like a mallet on my skull,
A gobbet of deformed and beaten clay.
Self induced trauma strutting and boasting,
Loathingly and afraid.
Howling like a wind in a breaking glass,
"I am a fucking mistake.
I am a loveless bastard,
And everything I touch turns to disaster."
All I can feel is hated.
All I can feel is hated.
All I can feel is hated.
All I can feel is
Melting, breaking, molten steel
Is every emotion I fail to feel,
And all I can feel is hatred.
All I can feel is...
[Part III: Master/Slave]
Love stripped away,
For we are all our own master and slave.
You say flesh is sin?
Or is sin just a word for exploitation, pride, and shame?
Beat me, choke me, gag me,
Teach me to beg for my pain,
Teach me to hate myself
And to see vanity in everything.
Scratch and mark my skin,
Bite and lick my fucking skin.
Humiliate me, rectify me,
Cover my mouth, dominate me,
Bound my hands, castrate me,
Torment and manipulate me,
Blind me, invade my privacy,
Fuck me, kill me, masticate me,
Tie me to this tree, crucify me,
Give me a sense of belonging
Then mortify me.
Beat me, choke me, gag me,
Teach me to beg for my pain,
Teach me to hate myself,
For we are all our own master and slave.
[Part IV: Public Humiliation, Self Mutilation, Self Discovery]
What separates me
From the next tool?
What differentiates me
From any other fool?
I am nothing
But something to be fucked.
Ecstatic gasps for breath between
Each time I'm smothered in your cunt -
I'm worthless
Just like you who exploit me;
Exploit me
Exploiting you.
Degrade me
Break me down.
I am nothing,
But you are someone I can trust.
Enthralled in passion,
Artless expressions of lust.
I want to be your whore.
I want to be your whore.
I am sensitive and meek.
I am sensitive and meek.
I need you to take advantage of me.
Fuck me hard. Kill me again.
Cum for me. I'm worthless.
I think about you while masturbating.
I think about you while masturbating.
Objectify you as I objectify myself.
Objectify me as you objectify yourself.
I'm worthless.
Put your hands on me.
Put your hands all over me.
I want you to take advantage of me.
I am nothing
But something to be fucked.
I am nothing,
But you are someone I can trust.
Shove my cock inside your mouth.
Chew me up, and spit me out.
I'm worthless.
We're all worthless.
Kill me. Fuck me over and over again.
We're all filth. We're all filth.
We all deserve to burn in hell.
We all deserve to burn in hell.
Cum for me. I'm worthless.
And everything was made of
Living flesh...
credits
from L'éveil Par La Mort,
released June 26, 2021
Xavier - voice, guitar, bass guitar
Robert - drums & percussion, djembe
Jack - sound manipulation
Straddling the threshold between studio performance and digital technique; the NYC artist applies "fake jazz" principles to synthpop. Bandcamp New & Notable May 2, 2024
A collection of tracks from the singer and multi-disciplinary artist's 111 collaboration series, featuring KMRU, Laraaji, and others. Bandcamp New & Notable Apr 25, 2024
